How to turn adversaries into allies with dignity and grace
Research indicates that scapegoating is the single greatest factor responsible for polarization and social strife.
Fast Company
By Yonason Goldson
February 12, 2023
The client hated your proposal.
Or, your strategy failed miserably.
Or, the candidate you rallied for, favored to win by a landslide, suffered a humiliating defeat.
What do you do next? Obviously, you look for someone to blame.
It’s a natural human reaction. You’re angry that your plans came to nothing. You’re afraid for your reputation and your future. It pains you that your best efforts produced no positive result.
So you look for a fall guy. And when you find one, you turn up the vitriol, resorting to accusation, condemnation, and character assassination. The facts don’t matter. What matters is finding a villain to deflect attention away from your own perceived inadequacy.
In a word, you seek cover by employing this week’s entry into the Ethical Lexicon:
Scapegoatism (scape·goat·ism/ skeyp-goh-tiz-uhm) noun
A psychological defense mechanism of denial through projecting responsibility and blame on others.
Blaming an outsider when the in-group experiences frustration or is blocked from obtaining a goal.
But scapegoating isn’t always motivated by failure. Sometimes, it’s the gnawing awareness that our arguments are not fully formed or our positions are on shaky ground that incites us to substitute fiery rhetoric for cool reasoning. Our fear of being exposed as wrong outweighs our commitment to getting it right.
The consequences can be devastating. According to UNITE, a collaborative dedicated to promoting constructive and civil discourse, research indicates that scapegoating is the single greatest factor responsible for polarization and social strife.
CHOOSE YOUR PATH
Revisiting the origins of the term may prove instructive. The scriptural account presented in Leviticus describes how the High Priest officiating on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, would cast lots upon two goats. The attending priests offered up one goat on the Temple altar; the other was led into the wilderness and “bear upon it all the iniquities of the people.” Hence, the scapegoat—the one that is sacrificed so that others might thrive.
A superficial reading sounds more representative of pagan superstition than rational monotheism. In fact, the two identical goats symbolize the two paths that lie before us, individually and collectively, at every decision point. Either we can choose to devote our energies, talents, and opportunities toward serving a higher purpose, or we can squander our potential and wander off into the desert of futile self-indulgence.
By resorting to scapegoating as a response to conflict, we descend into the moral morass of name-calling, half-truths, and even slanderous distortion. We legitimize the most despicable behavior, providing our ideological adversaries license to respond with similar tactics. Opposing camps become more entrenched in their positions, grow increasingly disinterested in facts or logic, and reject principled compromise as dealing with the devil. Finding common ground or advancing reasonable solutions becomes impossible.
TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
The lesson of the scapegoat urges us to choose a different course. The goat led into the wilderness carries away our sins if—and only if—we simultaneously offer ourselves up on the altar of collaboration, mutual respect, and inspired vision. Passion can be a powerful force for positive change, and we have a duty to call out misinformation and faulty reasoning wherever it appears. But we can do so with both professionalism and mature articulation. When we do, especially when those who oppose us discard good manners for bluster, we gain the upper hand simply by maintaining our personal dignity.
Disciplined speech and refined expression have been under assault for years, but there’s hope that the pendulum may finally be swinging back. To reverse the toxic effects of scapegoating, UNITE has launched a remarkable initiative called The Dignity Index, an eight-point scale for scoring speech on its power to unite or divide. It provides an extraordinary tool not only for politics, but also for business, family, and every walk of life.
In fact, according to project lead Tami Pyfer, UNITE has been approached by business leaders, school superintendents, and election officials for guidance not merely to use the assessment tool but to implement its underlying principles. Leaders from every corner of the professional world are beginning to notice that good ethics really is good business, that your brand image shines brightest not when you sling mud on your rivals but when you set higher standards for yourself.
A look back through history offers inspiring examples of heroes who maintained grace and dignity in the face of malice, in particular Martin Luther King, Mohandas Gandhi, and Susan B. Anthony. More recently, Nelson Mandela offered this stirring assessment of the path forward:
“In the end, reconciliation is a spiritual process, which requires more than just a legal framework. It has to happen in the hearts and minds of people.”
By scapegoating, we seek to protect our own egos and ideologies by demeaning and dehumanizing others. But its short-term gains vanish amidst long-term losses. In contrast, upholding the dignity of others preserves our own humanity, turns adversaries into allies, and paves the way for discovering creative solutions to the challenges we all face together.
[Article cover photo: Kunakorn Rassadornyindee/Getty Images]